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You didn't really think..................did you? Greed is a Deadly Sin. |
GOLD is an ore, a precious metal, and a kind of icon; it is an index of quality, value and affluence and even gold-plated items carry the 'hallmark' of excellence. Platinum and Palladium are more rare and more expensive, but it is gold which is the gold standard.
There is hardly a more persuasive image of a nation's wealth than its reserves of gold bullion, the ultimate international currency:
The standard gold bar held and traded internationally by central banks and bullion dealers is the Good Delivery bar, with a 400 oz (troy-ounce) (12.4 kg or 438.9 ounces) nominal weight. Its value (@ $1266.90 per oz, x 400) = $506,760 ..........just over half a million dollars per bar! (or 2 million pounds sterling, at post-Brexit exchange rates!).
The classic attache case full of £50 notes, in crime movies for ransom demands, bribes or kick-backs looks impressive, but a single gold bullion bar is less bulky and worth more.
Individual holdings of gold are impossible to discover, but exceptionally wealthy individuals not only drape themselves in gold, they drive it:
Sometimes when I have lusted after an expensive car, someone has bought me a model version instead. This could be a dangerous joke. Such things should not be promised:
This scale-model of the Lamborghini Aventador, apparently carved out of solid gold and encrusted with diamonds, sold for $7.5 million dollars to a customer from Dubai.
SOME INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT GOLD (and if you already knew them you can just button it, because nobody likes a Clever Dick)
1) The Incas called gold 'the tears of the Sun' (in the Pre-Murdochian period)
2) Homer (not Simpson) called it 'the glory of the immortals'
3) The first documentary evidence of gold was in 3100 BC
4) Gold was first used in coinage in 700 BC5) Gold does not corrode and it's high value and durability account for its popularity for engagement and wedding rings, though the marriages do not always maintain their value in the same way or last as long.
6) The biggest ever gold bullion robbery was the Brink's-Mat robbery at the Heathrow International Trading Estate on 25 November 1983 which saw a record £26 million (today approximately £79 million) worth of gold bullion, diamonds and cash stolen from a warehouse.
7) A single ounce of gold can be drawn into a wire 60 miles long.
8) The largest gold nugget was found in California; it weighed 195 pounds.
9) Gold is chemically liquified and injected into the muscles of thousands of rheumatoid arthritis victims in, and it is said that the treatment is successful in seven out of ten cases.
10) In every cubic mile of sea water there is 25 tons of gold. That’s a total of about 10 billion tons of gold in the oceans; however, there’s no known way to economically recover it.
Gold, Golding, Goldberg, Goldman, Goldstein, Goldsmith, Goldblum, Goldblatt - there is a formidable list of Jewish surnames with the prefix 'gold'. Anti-semites have claimed this as evidence for the stereotype of usury, but Dickens' character, Wemmick, in 'Great Expectations', would probably have argued the case for gold as 'portable property'. Jews have been persecuted and chased around Europe and beyond for two millennia: gold and silver (and professional qualifications) could be rapidly transported and used as 'currency', in any nation, hence many Jews pursued work in gold-related occupations, hence the name, or kept their assets in this form.
1) What do bar, shot and wonder have in common?
2) In which city is the Golden Temple, in the Punjab region of India?
3) What is the chemical symbol for gold?
4) Which African country was Gold Coast?
5) Which artist/band has the greatest number of gold discs?
6) What is the atomic number for gold?
7) How many Bond films have Gold in the title and which are they?
8) What dissolves gold?
9) Who is the junior co-owner of West Ham FC?
10)) Who has won the most Golden Globe awards for acting?
Love is the only gold. Alfred Lord Tennyson
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather sold it to me on his deathbed.
Woody Allen
Last year, the meter-man from SSE came to read the meters (surprise!), and stayed a long time, drinking tea in my kitchen with me, chatting. A nicer man you couldn't hope to meet, nice enough to work for the AA, (if you remember their advertising campaign around a typical mobile mechanic - 'a very very nice man'). However, I realised that indirectly he was costing me money as he wasted the company's time and it might somehow be reflected in my bill. So I punished him by giving him a copy of FESS as a takeaway and warned him there would be a test on every detail, come his next visit. He was chuffed, and I was chuffed to meet him. His name is J****n Gold which is the excuse I have for singing his praises here. He is genial, warm, open, chatty, sensitive, modest and many other good things and I doubt he has an unkind bone in his body. He also plays in a Beatles tribute band, just for charity and for fun (getting the picture?). I don't know the names of the other members of the band, but let's call them Pete Silver, Tony Brons and Stu Pewter, though they are not Heavy Metal)).No doubt this little piece will embarrass J horribly, but sometimes we have to do this to let people know they really are appreciated. See you next time, J, unless you want to invite me to a gig? As the audience are leaving at the end, do you ever think of playing that song that goes: "Now that you've gone, All that's left is a Band of Gold"?
1) Gold Bar, Golden Shot, Golden Wonder 2) Amritsar 3) Au 4) Gold Coast 5) the artists with the most Gold Albums. Elvis Presley (90 gold, 52 platinum) Barbra Streisand (52 gold, 31 platinum) Beatles (48 gold, 42 platinum) 6) atomic number: 79 7) 3: Goldfinger 1964; The Man with the Golden Gun 1974; Goldeneye 1995 8) Aqua Regia, a mixture of Hydrochloric and Nitric Acid 9) David Gold 10) Meryl Streep (8)
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